These energy forms appear in three stages, Stage 1, 2 and 3. As I begin to describe them, understand that it’s not stage one, and then you graduate to stage two, and then you get to stage three.

These stages, literally, just like masculine and feminine, have the same dynamic ebb-and-flow nature. They can appear, disappear, and reappear in a sentence or in a paragraph. Stage-one forms of the energy are the raw, organic forms of the energy; but the intention, purpose, and driver for the energy is an inward or selfish perspective. Again, when I say “selfish,” try not to impulsively attach judgment or a negative value to the term and qualify it is as categorically bad.

Consider the following metaphor:

When travelling with your child on a plane and the oxygen masks drop down, whose mask would you put on first? Likely your own. But isn’t that selfish? Yes, it is. It’s selfish. You’re taking care of yourself first, but you have to take care of yourself first in order for your child to survive. Most people believe that an oxygen mask and an air accident is about breathing oxygen- It’s not. It’s about breathing oxygen or having oxygen present but not enough pressure in order for you to breathe it.

The condition is called hypoxia and under hypoxic conditions, you can lose consciousness in six to eight seconds- six to eight seconds to get your oxygen mask on. If you don’t, it isn’t until the pilot brings the plane down to acceptable air pressure that you’ll regain consciousness: then you would be able to help your kid. But if you haven’t been breathing oxygen in the time period, when you regain consciousness, the likelihood is that you’re not, and your kid didn’t get a mask on either.

Most people would think, Oh, I can hold my breath. I’ll get my child’s mask on and then I’ll put mine on. No, it’s not about holding your breath. It’s about passing out from a lack of pressure to breathe the oxygen that’s present, so you much be selfish and put your mask on first. That’s an act of greater service.

Some women have a hard time with this one, specifically those who are raised to be martyrs, to be nurturers, to take care of people long past the time at which they need to say, “Stop, I can’t take care of you right now. I need to relax or rejuvenate. I’ve got to replenish my energy.” Women struggle immensely with doing this.

Guys have no problem. They’ll tell you, “F off. I’m taking care of me. I’ve got some me-time coming.” Guys are really good at that, generally. Women struggle at it. You have to, at times, be selfish. So when I say stage-one energy is selfish, sometimes it’s half-empty and sometimes it’s half-full.

So stage-one energy is raw, organic, and it’s designed to take care of you. It’s for you, it’s internalized. Stage-one masculine energy translates to I’m linear. I’m here, I’m going there. I’m going do something for me, for my ego, for my self gratification, because it makes me feel good. I’m taking care of me. I might be building the Taj Mahal, but it’s all about me, my ego, what I get out of it.

Stage three energy on the other hand is the same raw, organic form of the energy, but it’s external. It’s in service: I’m doing this for you. So stage-three masculine, (still linear, still driven, still focused), follows the line of thinking that translates to I’m still going to build the Taj Mahal, but now I’m doing it because it serves the planet, or it serves somebody I care about. It’s external. It’s not selfish.

Stage-one feminine, the energy of love and bonding and connecting, is often manifested with sentiments sounding like I’m going to open up and I’m going to love you because it makes me feel good, because I get love out of it, because I’m taking care of me, and because it’s what I want. I’m going to love you because I want love right now. It’s just an inward focus.

Stage-three feminine would sound more like I’m going to open up. I’m going to love you. I’m going to connect. I’m going to bond. I’m going to do everything for you. Stage-three feminine is of service. It’s taking care of someone, somebody, or a large number of people.

Stage two is situated in the middle. Stage two is an amalgam of all of the above; a little stage one, a little stage three, a little masculine, a little feminine. Words like “compromise,” “consensus,” “fairness,” “justness,” and “civility.” People understand these to be encouraging words and they are. They’re great words. You have to compromise sometimes. We set dispute resolution in motion and create a compromise sometimes.

We can have a little bit of drive, a little bit of love, a little bit for me, a little bit for you. That’s stage two. Again, avoid creating values.

You can begin a sentence in a stage-one masculine. In the middle of the sentence, you energetically move into a more serving mode, moving to straight stage-three masculine. By the end of the sentence or the end of the paragraph, you want to bring in some feminine energy maybe because you go to stage-one feminine.

It may sound complicated but it’s not, it becomes easy to see as you begin to experience these organic masculine and feminine energy patterns. One is in a selfish, internalized direction. Two is negotiated, sits in the middle, a little bit for everybody. Three is raw, organic. Aesthetically it is the same sentence, the same paragraph, the same grimace or facial expression, the same gestures. Everything is exactly the same, it’s simply done in service.